C'81

I did a little research on Alice Notley and found out she reconstructs the mysteries, and emotions of her past in this collection of poems that charts her growth from young girl to young woman. She erects structures of image and feeling to house the memories that swirl around her in the present. Her poems mirror and transcend the times they evoke. In the book, she explains the stages of her life and to the identities she has assumed which is as child, youth, lover, poet, wife, mother, friend, and widow. Mysteries of Small Houses is kind of an autobiography of her life but the intention was to explore the concept of the self, and explore the concept of the “I” pronoun through the exploration of her life.

            I decided to choose “C.81” as well because it was the most relatable poem in the book. I come from a really poor family so the fact that Notley elaborated on this idea of poverty and struggles in her life made me admire her very much. I have seen my family struggle to have a plate of food in their table day by day and its something harsh to experience. The first stanza of the poem, “People with more money than us don’t seem to trust us… we’re always looking to borrow five ten twenty dollars… they think it all “goes for pills” how much do they think pills cost. We have no expensive habits, clothes travel, no checking account” These lines made me a bit sentimental and upset at myself at the same time. We should feel fortunate that we have a roof over our heads, food in our tables, and not much but some money to survive and live a more or less decent life. Sometimes I see bums in the train stations or even in the middle of the streets asking for money, and people just walk by and not even look at them. I personally always give them a dollar, I don’t know what they use it for but I feel good with myself knowing I did not ignore them. Poor people struggle a lot and those that can help I believe should not hesitate in giving a hand to those in more need that you are.

C. '81

    In the peoms Mysteries of Small Houses by Alice Notley, I noticed a pattern in these poems with the mention of pills and the name Ted. I did a little research and discovered that Tom was the late husband of  Notley. Ted Berrigan died from cirrhosis of the liver. Ted like his wife was a poet. Ted was supporting his family by writing papers for Columbia students, then tried assorted odd jobs, and finally taught at various universities.

    I did a close reading on the poem "C. '81", I chose this poem because of the struggle her family went through. I would probably classify her poetry as an autobiograpy. This poem seems to tell a story of her hardships and struggles she faced, from having no money, and having to borrow money from people. Notley struggled to raise her two sons alone while continuing to develop her poetry. She seems to feel that people with more money than her family look down on her: "People with more money than us don't seem to trust us we're always looking to borrow five ten or twenty dollars we only want to have just enough money, today they think it all "goes for pills" how much do they think pills cost we have no expensive habits I mean as in other people's worlds clothes, travel, decor, entertainment we do buy books we dont have a phone for seven years, no checking account"

   When I seen the mention of pills in this poem what I got from it was the medication her husband was taking for his disease before he passed away, but when I looked further into it, Ted's illness went untreated, because there was no treatment really; and they couldn't afford  doctor visits. Looking back at the history of their lives they seemed to be struggling poetry writers trying to make ends meet with two children living in the lower east side of New York City.

Reading Response: “April Not an Inventory but a Blizzard”

          In “April Not an Inventory but a Blizzard”, Alice Notley, the poet of the book Mysteries of small Houses, uses similar characteristics with her other poems in the handout. Some of these are included: sound, theme, structure and vocabulary words. All of her poems have similar themes which involves her life and her family, especially her husband “Ted”. Each of the poems helps to create one picture that portrays her life time. The poems are generally arranged in chronological order from meeting her husband that lived in Iowa City to living in New York after her husband's death. Even though “April Not an Inventory but a Blizzard”, in my opinion, did not have a lot of poetic sound compared to some other poems. It did have some rhythms, beats, and emotions like the other poems. Similar to one another, the readers can feel Notley’s emotions through each of her poems. As for structure, “April Not an Inventory but a Blizzard” has the same poetic structure with other poems included “Towards a Definition” and “The New York Human”. These poems are formed like a paragraphs but broken into a stanzas. For vocabulary words, Notley tends to use words that illustrate setting, colors, imagery and emotions such as the words  Iowa City, Chicago, blue, black, pain, and grief. Some of her words are simple; however, they have a deep meaning. She also writes in first person narrative as she used the word “I” in all of her poems.  In my opinion, “April Not an Inventory but a Blizzard” does not have a lot of technical sounds that can be observed. This poem has rhythm because every line has a beat in them. However, the sound did not go smoothly because of the way Notley forms her structure. For overall musicality, the tone and emotions of this poem is portrayed as happy and yet erratic because Notley’ emotions seem to be unpredictable which depended on her mind. Notley structures her poem with stanzas that can be view as a broken paragraph lines. One of the main ideas of using stanzas is that it makes the poem easier to read and understand. However, Notley’s structure impacts her sound as the poem does not sound smooth and feels kind of rough. In this poem, Notley uses allusion as her poetic technique when she mentions people, movie and etc., that included Raquel Welch and James Wright, Grease, and Tarzan. She also used repetition of the words “at” in her first stanza when she states, “…at two parties at the same house/ at the first…/…at girls that nigh; at the second/ …at an Arthur Murray’s (1-5).
          “April Not an Inventory but a Blizzard” is a poem portrays that Alice Notley and Ted Berrigan’s relationship as a lover. The beginning of the poems illustrate the beginning of their love life as they met and danced “fox-trot with dipping” (4). As the poems progressed, they illustrated the development of their love life which included her feelings, ted’s personality and their activities. Since Ted is older than the poet, he had experienced in life. The poem states: “He…takes pills/I take some a few months later and write/ he warns me about pills in a slantwise way See this/ nose? He say It’s the ruins of civilization /I notice some broken capillaries who cares” (23-28). This stanza indicates that both Alice and Ted were using drugs such as cocaine during their writing process. Even though they know the consequences of using drugs since it can ruin their health and life, they still used it as a way to get high and be alert so they can continue to write more works. This also foreshadows Ted’s death because he died from Cirrhosis of the liver which caused from overdose of drugs. The narrator also feels mindless and lack of self-identity since she doesn’t feel like who she used to be. Different than other people included me, the narrator wants to breathe and stay alive because of her wanting to write. She continued to live in a happy love life with ted and she even gives him “Dutch brooch Delft blue and white” which can be symbolized as her heart. The poem comes to an end when Ted went away to Europe and left a key to his library stores. Inside the room, the narrator can feel all the writing experienced in this room which finally led the narrator to create her own poetry. The text states: “…in Ted’s library/ which finally makes poetry possible for me but I’ve/ not read a voice like my own like my own will be” (43-45). The narrator feels that she never read other people works that is similar to her. Her work is unique and has her own voice. I think this topic is important to Alice Notley since this is an autobiographical poem. The poems are about her and the path the she has faced during her life time. The poems portray her love for her family. They also illustrate the feeling of love, struggle and pain from the perspective of a girl, wife and a mother. This poem portrays the social and philosophical implication. For the social implication, the poem illustrated the bad influence of people on using drugs as a gate way to achieve goals. As one can see, because of Ted’s influence, the narrator uses drugs as a gateway to continue with her writing. Even though their writing may be fuelled by the addiction to drugs, it took away the narrator’s self- identity and also Ted’s life. For philosophical implication, this poem taught me to learn from and be inspired by older people through their experience. Older people, like Ted who is older and already successful, can serve as role models for the narrator as he guided her to success. I also feels that famous people like many poets, authors, musicians, and artists tend to have a downfall, at some point in their lives, that can be a result from drugs. However, many people can find success in life despite failures.

Reading Response 11/19,

In Mysteries of Small Houses by Alice Notley, I took a special interest on “I – Towards a Definition” despite one of being one, this spoke to me deeply. “Grief isn’t empty it’s black and material I’ve seen it,” the persona stating that grief is visible, it’s not an empty entity you feel inside you, it’s something you feel outside. Meaning, one could spot a person in grief and identify that, that person is in grief. “It is Black” meaning it's a dark thing to encounter. "It's a force, independent, and eats you while you're sleeping," the persona is saying that grief has energy and it's self sufficient, grief has an effect in your sleep such as nightmares, or sad dreams. Notley thoroughly personifies grief in this poem.  The remnant of the persona's husband, Ted remains in the apartment. Even though Ted had died, his belongings in the apartment bring grief into the persona's life hence her saying "whirled around me like burnt paper" meaning that the grief surrounds her. After time awhile, the grief is starting to shape the persona's life. "Could hardly stand up some days that year because of it" and feels like she is losing herself in the "sea of grief it's a battle." She mentioned that dealing with grief is like a war, and her past feels like grief because of her current condition. The persona continued to describe grief as a war, "and to accept her after such war, after the tears of/ myself as a general have hardened into semiprecious / ivory or coral, is sad and/ defeating no victory" she went deeper in her battle describing more how influential this grief over Ted's death. However she seems to be moving on from this grief when she acknowledged that "the universe is ruled by love and countervalent sorrow" meaning that where there's life there's death, where there's love, there's sorrow. Then she mentioned again that "Grief is visible, substantial, I've literally seen it" after repeating herself that grief is not just emotional, but also physical she said she had "seen" it which is a past tense, which leads me to think that she had moved on from this grief, but a little part of it will stay in her heart forever like a scar. (Done)

rip. Ted. c.'81

Out of all Alice Notley’s poem, C. ’81, was the one I was able to relate the most so I decided to do a close reading of this poem. The poem is very sad and sort of angry at the same time as Notley explains her view of poor individuals. One quote that caught my attention when reading this poem was the last line, 

“I’m fucking lazy unskilled and you deserve your money”, the ‘I’ in this line being the poor individual.  I believe that Notley is doing a comparison between poor and rich people as she mentions that poor people normally look into borrowing money to buy pills while rich people have a habit of clothes, traveling, décor, and entertainment. I do not know if Notley was trying to imply anything when she said that poor people normally ask to borrow 5, 10, or 20 dollars and that rich people believe it’s to buy pill and she responds that pills is an expensive habit so I think that she is speaking about marijuana as those are the common prices of marijuana and is very accessible and inexpensive in the poor societies. Notley also through me off when she said that “I think of ’81, ’82 as rather ugly years casting cold shadows black against the sky of a sun disappearing” so I decided to research what if anything happened in those years and it turned out something did happen. Apparently Notley was married to Ted Berrigan, a poet like herself, who was dying of cirrhosis of the liver during those years which could be a reason why she states that years 81-82 were rather ugly. Ted Berringan died on July 1983. If this is the case it makes me wonder if this poem could actually be about her considering that if your loved one is in need of medical attention one would probably do and spend whatever it takes to make them better and because of this Notley probably because poor and ultimately having to work for the rich individuals. Nonetheless, her poems seem to tell a story as they all seem to be reflecting some sort of past. I believe the past she is reflecting is her own but that is up to interpretation. 

rip ted.

C. '81 Response

Christian P.

        I favored this poem by Alice Notley and chose to do a close reading because it simply delivered an impact. The several opening lines drew me in immediately and also conveyed the theme of the entire poem as well as the topic at hand: "People with more money than us don't seem to trust us (not strictly true). We have hardly any, ever. Maybe they shouldn't trust us. We're always looking to borrow five, ten or twenty dollars". This quote spoke to me in a political sense as Notley is almost directly spearheading the issue of inequality. In my opinion, it also tackles the immigrant situation where the poor are often reliant on the higher-ups for money and welfare.
        Throughout the poem, there are instances where events are described in a first-person context, as if this had been written by Notley to portray the thoughts of a person who has seen better days. For example, this quote in the fifth stanza: "I'm being self-righteous so I can own my own past again" and the sixth stanza: "of course I'm not right I'm never right. I'm fucking lazy unskilled and you deserve your money". The former quote seems depict that this person is the seeker of salvation from the past and is trying to make things right. The past maybe even caused this person such misfortune as if it was just retribution that followed. This may also just be the personal emotions of Notley but choosing to convey it poetically.
        As I stated previously, this is a poem that confronts certain political issues. This is one of the distinguishing aspects in this poem that separates it from the others in Mysteries of Small Houses. On the other hand, there is a striking similarity between each poem. The character of Ted appears and is mentioned is all poems. It gave me a surreal sense of continuity where Notley is trying to tell an unconventional biography through this stylistic, poetic format. Upon reading, the thought the poem highlighted the idea of money being power. All I could ponder was that "money is power only when nothing is free".